Some things in life you just cannot clearly see or understand while they are happening, but can only fully appreciate in hindsight. This is the case with my mother, Helen Derrie Ayers. Growing up I knew her as a loving and nurturing mother. As an adult I knew her as a God loving and supportive mother and grandmother to my children. Only now looking back on her life, can I better appreciate the depth of her religious faith and her fierce determination to overcome any adversity.
Mom was raised in poverty as the ninth of eleven births, and she saw only a bleak world around her. During the 1930s Depression, she had to drop out of school in the eighth grade because she had no shoes to wear. Even though she was only 14 years old, she worked up the courage to get a job at a new shirt factory in town by telling them she was 16. Luckily, they needed women operators. Most of the money she earned doing piecework went to support her father and mother, but she got a first glimpse at how she could earn a better life with a good work ethic. It was about that time also that she first found her faith in God, after being drawn into a church when she heard wonderful music. From that time on she was determined to find a way to escape her unhealthy home environment and even leave her small town of LaFollette, TN.
In Jan 1942, Mom married Ira Ayers, Dad, when he returned to LaFollette for Christmas from Baltimore, Maryland where he had gone to find employment. She then moved back to Baltimore with him for a few months. However, he was soon drafted into WW II leaving her back in LaFollette with an unborn baby (me), while he spent the next 4 years overseas. Knowing that Dad would someday take her away again, Mom began saving some of money that he sent home. She had faith that it would help them find a better life. After the war, they again moved to Baltimore where Dad returned to his job with the B&O Railroad. They also took on the responsibility of supervising two large apartment houses which allowed them to continue saving. Mom was always embarrassed and ashamed of her family background and was determined to provide a solid foundation and better life for her own family. She found a new church in the city, became a born again Christian, and became a Sunday School teacher.
In 1947 and again in 1948, she tragically lost babies at birth because her blood type was RH negative and the babies died because her body had developed antibodies against the fetuses. Determined to overcome this medical adversity, she allowed the doctors to experiment with a new drug to counteract the antibodies, and as a result my two sisters, Carol and Annette, survived when they were born. And that experimentation in which she participated, helped cure the RH factor problem for today and future generations.
In 1950 Mom and Dad bought a small farm in the country about 20 miles west of Baltimore City. Dad continued working for the railroad, but because of the extra commuting expenses, finances were very tight. Mom often went to God in prayer seeking guidance. The family went to church and tithed faithfully. Her deep faith helped her to remain optimistic. By the mid 1950s they began selling chickens, eggs, strawberries and vegetables produced on the farm. By 1960, their small business had grown to selling 300 dozen eggs per week year round, along with hundreds of bushels of strawberries, tomatoes and corn in the summertime. Between working for the railroad and on the farm, Dad worked 16 hours a day and was always very stressed. However, Mom also did her part as she spent countless hours picking, cleaning, crating and delivering their products by car along a home delivery route they established. This was extremely hard work that produced little profit in return. Mom knew that she had to find a job off the farm for the family to move ahead, but she had no high school diploma.
Again, she was very determined and while continuing to work the farm, she started home schooling herself and eventually received a GED diploma. This led to her getting a job in 1965 at a state mental institution where she did on-the-job training and classwork to become a Licensed Practical Nurse (LPN). Continuing to push ahead, by 1970 she obtained an Industrial Therapist job at another state mental institution where she helped patients train for job skills before they were released back into the community. She found her niche in helping others, and took great pride in her work before retiring in 1983.
Growing up under unfortunate circumstances, Mom always had great empathy for others less fortunate. She applied this empathy in all parts of her lifelong work for the church and her personal life. She often visited, comforted and prayed for sick people. On two separate occasions in the 1950s and 60s, there were large neighboring families who lived in similar households like she had experienced, where the father made bleak living conditions worse by excessive drinking. She reached out and befriended those families and did everything she could for the wives and children. In addition, she and Dad would gather up as many children as would fit in their old car and take them to Sunday School. She was determined to show them that there was a path of hope that eventually could lead them to future security.
Mom always looked out for her own family as well. She supported and strengthened Dad whenever his resolve seemed to weaken, or whenever stress caused him to erupt at some family member. She provided constant encouragement and guidance to my sisters and me. She was the bedrock of our family. Thankfully, she motivated me to go to college, although no one knew where the money would come from. But she had faith the answer would be found, and it was found outside the home with a scholarship. She died in 2005, and even though she is no longer with us, Mom will always be our inspiration. Helen Derrie Ayers was indeed a strong woman of faith and determination.